Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The Great Muffin Fraud

It's time for a little honesty. Delicious as they may be, muffins are not breakfast food. Muffins are cake in disguise. I dont know who decided to rebrand cake so that they could eat it for breakfast without ridicule, but they have done a fine job of pulling the wool over everyone's eyes.

Look around, any respectable breakfast establishment has muffins on the menu. My money is that you've probably even bought one for breakfast in the last month. That's right, you had cake for breakfast and didn't even know it. I'm not judging; the caramel toffee muffin that I had for breakfast this morning was quite delightful.

That we have allowed ourselves to be deceived like this on such a large scale is frightening. If nobody is willing to recognize the truth about muffins, it begs the deeper question of whether we have the ability to distinguish right from wrong. It's time to call a cake a cake.

8 Comments:

Blogger Chris Hooper said...

Thank you for opening my eyes to the deception that has been going on around me for so long! I knew those mmmmmmmmmmmuffins guys were shady! Speaking of which, is mmmmmuffins still around? You've got to love a company that has an indeterminate number of 'm's in its name...

February 27, 2008 at 3:47:00 PM MST  
Anonymous donnablande said...

I ate a cupcake so big last week I had to hold onto it with BOTH hands - but I knew what I was doing and I was ready when the sugar crash came (and it was worth it for that cream cheese icing). mmmmmmmmmmmm

Starbuck's slay me with their "lowfat" muffins, which really means "LOTS of sugar, not as much fat". Fat satiates us whereas sugar leaves you wanting for more - kind of like heroin (so I read). Eat fat, not sugar.

This is especially infuriating to me because many people feed this fake food to their children, who then go to school and have all sorts of trouble.

February 27, 2008 at 8:58:00 PM MST  
Anonymous erin k. said...

apparently tim horton's muffins are significantly SIGNIFICANTLY worse for you than their douhnuts. weird, hey?

and mmmmuffins is still around. if you do an early morning gig on CBC radio they will give you mmmmuffins. for breakfast. at the ungodly hour of 5:00am. which, i suppose, should henceforth be known as the 'caking' hour.

February 27, 2008 at 11:18:00 PM MST  
Anonymous erin k. said...

apparently tim horton's muffins are significantly SIGNIFICANTLY worse for you than their douhnuts. weird, hey?

and mmmmuffins is still around. if you do an early morning gig on CBC radio they will give you mmmmuffins. for breakfast. at the ungodly hour of 5:00am. which, i suppose, should henceforth be known as the 'caking' hour.

February 27, 2008 at 11:18:00 PM MST  
Blogger Emma said...

I'd like to stand up for the little guy. The muffin man, as it were. Muffins, in their true form, aren't bad for you. Get your granny's bran or banana or rhubarb muffin recipe and scan. Those guys are generally going to be healthy in a fruit and fibre wholesomeness kind of a way. It's the commercial muffin industry that's a problem. Love muffins? Make your own.

(In the preceeding argument, the word "muffin" can also be replaced with the word "music." Except the granny bit.)

February 28, 2008 at 5:10:00 AM MST  
Blogger tori said...

chris - i appreciate your comments. in fact, i appreciate them so much that i googled it, and mmmuffins has three m's (ie, it's not indeterminate). just thought i'd throw that out there in my ongoing effort to help you with spelling. :)

donna - here, here!

erin - great tidbits of information. especially since i am unlikely to ever 'do an early morning gig on cbc'. your family does awesome things.

emma - wasn't the muffin man a pimp?

February 29, 2008 at 6:38:00 AM MST  
Blogger DalRock said...

mmmm... cake

February 29, 2008 at 6:57:00 PM MST  
Blogger BikingBakke said...

Where do muffin-tops fit in? Are they suitable at breakfast time?

March 2, 2008 at 8:03:00 PM MST  

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