Friday, September 14, 2007

Cycling Lingo 101

GIVERATOR
giv * er * a * tor [giv-uh-rey-ter]

An energy storage device used to propel a bicycle. It is capable of releasing significant quantities of kinetic energy. Its performance is measured on a scale of 1-10. The giverator can be charged under the following equation:

E=mc2, where:
e = energy
m = motivation
c = carbohydrates and/or caffeine

Conversely, the ‘giverator’ can be weakened when large amounts of work are performed in the office.

The giverator emits electromagnetic waves that can magnify or impede the performance of other giverators. For example: in a grouping of individuals with ‘giverators’, one individuals discussion or demonstration of his/her giverator can enhance or detract the performance of other ‘giverators’ in the group. While one may boast about the size and performance of his/her ‘giverator’ in the parking lot before the ride, an accurate measurement can only be taken during the ride.

Variations of the Giverator
  • Extraordinary performance can be generated when the giverator is fueled by substances such as EPO and other peoples hemoglobin. This has often been referred to as the 'cheatergiver’.
  • The giverator can be pushed past 10 for short periods of time, at which point it becomes the 'overgiver'. Warning: Extended use of the overgiver can result in a damaged or blown giverator.
  • Running the giverator at or below 7 can enable the operator to divert energy toward flower smelling and amusing conversation. When the latter dominates, it is commonly known as the 'giggleator'.

Source: Deadgoat Forum. Special acknowledgements to Ed, Tim, Stappy, Devin, and Steve.

1 Comments:

Blogger Emma said...

How do signs made out of old cardboard and/or scarp paper that say things like:

GO MOM GO!

or

YOU CAN DO IT SHEENA!

Factor in?

September 17, 2007 at 3:23:00 PM MDT  

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